New years road trip - joshua tree

in the middle of the desert, miles from any big city, lies joshua tree national park. a place that, honestly, doesn't make much sense. yucca trees for miles and giant rock formations that seem to have somehow landed in the middle of nowhere, for no reason at all, other than to provide a grown-up play ground for you and me. 

hiking, playing, and walking around this place brought so many questions. how did these rocks get here? how do they all seem to have nature-made staircases that allow us to get to the top so easily? what are these cactus things that fade in color? and how on earth does that giant rock look like a skull? again and again, i kept asking Jeremy and myself, how is all of this possible? so many questions, not a lot of answers.

next thing i know new years eve rolled around and i suddenly realized, all these questions about joshua tree and not a single one about 2016 and what i wanted it to be. a whole new year to be whoever i wanted. but what did i want exactly? how could i prepare myself for the hard times 2016 would bring? how could i be a better human? and how could i possibly make these little dreams of mine come true? sitting in the quiet and reflecting on these questions i felt myself turn into a ball of panic, paralyzed by the fear of not having any answers for myself.

america yall jeremy pawlowski lauren simpson joshua tree national park california vsco camping truck

but what i came to realize sitting in this place that couldn't provide answers to my questions, was that maybe life's the same way. maybe we aren't supposed to be given the answers. maybe knowing the answers right now isn't the point. maybe the point now is to simply have patience for these questions. to have patience for ourselves while our soul seeks out the answers.